How many times have you heard your friends, or yourself, say, “I hate dating,” or “Dating is so hard”? This attitude of dread has left us wondering, when did dating stop being fun?
What happened to the excitement of meeting new people? When did attending events and trying new restaurants become laborious? When did the anticipation of an amazing first kiss translate to a sucky time?
One of the reasons we created Fantasy Dating is to take the dread out of dating and replace it with fun. But in order to do that, you have to stop taking it all so seriously. By that, we mean look at meeting someone for an introductory coffee as an hour of adventure. Look at a date as an opportunity to try that new food truck everybody raves about and chat with someone new.
A good way to stop taking dating so seriously is to remember, it’s just a date, not a proposal. If you look at every date as a make-or-break moment, you’ll end up with a panic attack – not a boyfriend.
In order to meet all kinds of people and discover what does and doesn’t work for you, you have to date a lot. Dating is a fun and exciting process that should help you narrow your search to find someone with whom you’re compatible.
To reduce your stress and increase the fun, remember these tips:
1. It’s just a date. Going on a date with someone is not a lifetime commitment. It’s just a couple of hours of your time. Plan something that interests you and enjoy yourself.
2. Don’t worry about whether or not he likes you, decide if you like him. Too often, we spend dates consumed by thoughts like, “Does he like me?” and “Do I look okay?” Doubt-driven thoughts like that just perpetuate the dread of the situation. Instead, remember, you are the chooser. Relax and focus on what you like about him and whether or not you’d like to see him again.
3. You don’t have to go out with him again. If during your date, you decide you don’t want to see him again, remember, you don’t have to. That relieves pressure and allows you to move on to date someone you really connect with.
4. Practice increases the fun. The more you date, the comfortable you will be. Flirting and approaching someone you’re interested in will help you stretch your comfort zone. And going on a few dates will prove that there is life after a date, whether or not you made a match. Pretty soon, you’ll be working your game and enjoying every minute of it.
Remember, we’re cheering you on! Let us know how it goes.