Because I deal specifically with the realm of “Latin dating”, I get the question a lot: “What makes Latin dating different than any other kind of dating?” It’s a good question, and on the surface, there really isn’t much. In a general sense, it just means that my clients have tan skin and speak a little Spanish.
However, there are interesting elements to Latin dating; they’re little things really, but they set it apart. For example, it’s almost always assumed that Latin women know how to flirt. Maybe it’s the stereotypes that we’re all fiery, passionate temptresses that bark hard and bite harder—but the truth is, we’re all just women like the rest of them.
I’ve given advice on how to flirt to some of the prettiest Latin women I’ve ever seen, and I’ve received advice from plenty. The truth is, almost every woman could stand to brush up on her flirting game, regardless of her race. Here are a couple of the most important pointers that I give to my clients.
There are certain things you should not do.
Think about it. If a guy were to come up to you and drop a ridiculously stupid pick-up line like, “That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed,” for example, there’s very little chance that you would go for him. If you would, it’s because he looks incredibly yummy, but even then it would be his looks and not his flirting that won the encounter. Here are the three things I always tell my clients NOT to do:
Don’t act dumb. If you’re trying to snag a guy for anything more than a one-night-stand, you will do miserably if you act dumb (unless, of course, the guy you are looking for is dumb himself). Real men want to date intelligent women, and, more importantly, real men want to date you. Be yourself instead of acting dumb.
Don’t act desperate. This is one courtship crime that entirely too many men are guilty of. Imagine the guy that follows you like a baby duckling, texts you every other minute, and essentially suffocates you to death with the attention that screams “please-God-somebody-love-me-NOW!” Take a note from that type of guy, and make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes.
Don’t play hard-to-get. Don’t interpret that to mean “give in at the first sign of attraction” (that would be considered acting desperate). While you don’t want to be clingy or easy, you also don’t want to go the opposite route and play it so icy that they say “screw it” and move on to the next girl at the bar. It’s all about the fine balance of keeping his interest and seeming interested yourself, without letting him get bored or frustrated.
What you should do is going to be different for everybody.
There is one philosophy that I like to teach that seems to work well for Latin women, Asian women, Caucasian women—all women. It’s the idea that you should let him feel like he’s in control of the flirting, even if he isn’t. If you use that philosophy, flirting is as easy as opening up a door, or dangling a carrot; he’s the one that will walk through the door, or go for the carrot. Think of flirting as an invite to a conversation. Here are a couple of tricks that work well:
Let him catch you looking. If you haven’t heard of or used this trick before, 75% of why you think you’re an unsuccessful flirt can probably be chalked up to that. If a guy notices a girl staring at him from across the room, he will generally be incited to make the first move. If he needs a little extra prodding, all you have to do is…
SMILE! There is almost no clearer invitation for conversation in the world of dating than flashing a smile at a guy from across the room. Note: This will not work if you’re smiling at every other guy in the room as well as at the guy you want to flirt with.
Know when to walk away. This is another rule that is extremely handy for women, and one that too many guys need to learn. If a guy isn’t interested, he isn’t interested. If you’ve baited him in every way possible, save taking off your panties and throwing them at him, move on. Quit wasting your time on him, and realize that there is plenty of other fish out there in the sea—lure one of them.
Of course, I could write forever about this topic, but the simple fact is this: flirting doesn’t take much more than a little bit of confidence. Eye contact, a smile, and then a couple of yes’s, no’s, and haha’s while HE comes over and flirts with YOU—that’s how easy it is. It proves that near everybody can flirt, and if you think you can’t… well, that’s really what your problem is. You THINK you can’t.
About the Author: Miranda Santiago is a psychology major and freelance writer. She enjoys writing about dating topics, appealing specifically to relationships involving Latin women. Apart from writing, Miranda enjoys windsurfing, playing the piano, and cheering on her favorite baseball teams.