Of course not. So, neither should you. Here are some ways to avoid blaming yourself when it’s not you and it’s him.
1: Don’t Get Attached To An Outcome.
If you meet someone and decide that he’s the one for you and put a ton of pressure on yourself to have an amazing date and it doesn’t work out, you’re going to be horribly disappointed.
It’s just a date. Going on a date with someone is not a lifetime commitment. Don’t attach yourself to what could happen. Just plan something that interests you, enjoy yourself, and see what happens.
2: Stay Present.
Focusing on the present is not easy. But if you can manage to stop wondering, “What if he asks me out again?” and “What if he’s the one?” and just enjoy the kayaking, wine tasting, or whatever you’re doing, you’ll be a lot less attached to an outcome.
3: Date a Lot.
In order to meet all kinds of people and discover what does and doesn’t work for you, you have to date a lot. Dating is fun and exciting, not to mention it will help you narrow your search to find the person who is awesomely perfect for you. The more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll get. And the less you’ll analyze things like, “Didn’t he like me?” “Why wouldn’t he hold my hand?” or “Will he call me again?”
4: Don’t take it personally
Never blame yourself for someone else’s actions. Most of the time, what people do and don’t do has very little to do with you. The key is to not take other people’s actions personally.
There’s someone for everyone. If you go on 100 dates before you meet that someone, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It just means you had things to learn before you met the right someone. Just keep it moving and remember, it’s not you, it’s him.