You went out with him because he was sweet and charming, you had interests, ideas and beliefs in common, he’s always a gentleman (well, mostly always), and he’s cute….but he can’t plan a date!
Even the best relationship can wobble a bit when you’re spending every single Saturday night sitting on the couch watching a video. Sadly, this is where many relationships are after a few months of dating and it’s certainly not because your beau has lost interest in you.
This Is A Trap
Quite the contrary, oftentimes our guys are doing this because they have decided that “this is my woman” and she loves me…so I don’t have to try so hard anymore. And sometimes we women let this situation evolve because we too are feeling settled into the relationship and don’t necessarily feel we have to dress to the nines and go out every night to show our new guy how sparkly-wonderful we are.
Let Him know What you want
It is a very comfy trap, but one that you’ll need to avoid falling into. Cozy videos at-home dates are nice sometimes, but not as a steady diet, it’s important to plan more interesting, creative, and sometimes even sexy dates to keep a spark of excitement in your lives. Unfortunately, it’s rare to find a man who can consistently plan really great dates. This is where you come in.
Men are abysmally bad at getting nuances and hints, so tell him upfront that you want to go out and try different things on your dates. You could, at this point, just go ahead and plan some really fun dates for the two of you, but then you run the risk of always being the planner. The goal here is to show your guy how to plan a date so he can take the reins sometimes.
So, make a game of it. A contest if your guy is the competitive type. Each weekend it’s either his or her turn to plan the date…and make sure you take the first weekend. Then plan a night, or day, out that revolves around something your man loves to do. It could be tickets to the game, a golf outing if that’s his thing. Maybe he loves to cook. If he does then research cooking schools in your area, many of them offer hobby classes and even couples cooking classes. Just make sure of two things:
1. When he’s loving the date, make it a point to tell him you recall him saying he loved this sports team, or that type of cooking, or…whatever it is that you’re doing. Let him know you listened to him and planned around that.
2. End the night on a romantic, or steamy-sexy note. C’mon, stop rolling your eyes – you know how our boys respond to that!
When it’s his weekend, let him know as part of the game he has to try and top what you did. Then let the fun begin. He’ll learn to plan better dates (hey, maybe you will too!) and you’ll both have a great time and most likely build lots of fun and romantic memories for yourselves too.
Sharon Sommerhalter and Mariann O’Connor are the writing team behind Lifebytes, Real Stories. Their first book of dating advice titled “The Man Plan, A Guy’s Guide To Planning The Perfect Date” is available at www.LifeBytesBook.com where they also share dating advice and personal stories. They also write a regular dating column at www.SinglesWarehouse.co.uk. Connect with LifeBytes on Twitter at @LifeByteStory.