Mediocre dates can go on forever. Think about it, being taken out to dinner by a guy who’s only so-so might be better than scarfing down another Healthy Choice dinner and curling up with your puppy in front of a reality TV marathon – again.
But you have to look at the situation objectively and decide whether or not he’s wasting your time. And just as importantly, whether or not you’re wasting his. After all, it’s not fair to date someone if you’re not really into him.
To figure out where you and your date rate on the simpatico scale, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Does the conversation hold your interest?
- Does the dating seem to be going somewhere?
- Are you excited? Nervous?
- Do you laugh together?
- Is he:
- Smart?
- Funny?
- Attentive?
- Polite?
- All the things on your non-negotiable list? (See below for more information on non-negotiables)
- Do you look forward to the next date?
- Is he kissable?
If you answer “no” to any of these questions, it’s time to re-evaluate the guy you’re dating. But think about it carefully. Don’t be rash. The last thing you want to do is ditch a great guy too soon. But if he’s Larry and you’re looking for Mo, don’t let things drag on forever either. Know when to quit.
FD Tip: If you need help deciding what to do, take it to your Wing Girls. Remember, you’re a team! They’re there to cheer you on. Your girls will give you solid advice on whether or not to continue on the path you’re on.
Remember, the Fantasy Dating point system allows each player to earn points for up to three dates with one guy. Here’s where the Honor Code kicks in – if after the first date you know you’re never going to take him public, you can’t keep dating him just to get points. That would be dishonest – and all’s fair in love and The Game!
Keep Your Eye on the Prize
While this game is definitely about scoring big, the ultimate goal is to stop competing because you find love. And if you get to the point where you no longer want to make new connections, date other people, and win the prize you and your league mates have designated because you only want to be with one guy – then you win the ultimate prize!
Non-Negotiables Exercise
When looking for love, it’s important to really understand what you’re looking for. That means really thinking about and writing out your non-negotiables. Ask yourself:
What characteristics must a man have? (For example, Must he want children? Must he keep a clean home? Must he always do what he says he will? Must he take responsibility for his actions? etc.) Write out 10 non-negotiable characteristics of your dream guy.
Once you write them out, use them as a scorecard for the guys you date. For example, when you’re wondering if a guy you’re dating might or might not be a long-term guy for you, compare him to your list. Ask yourself:
- Does he meet all my non-negotiables?
- Where does he lack?
- How do I feel about that?
Use this criterion to decide whether to continue or stop dating him. Use it with every guy and take the guesswork out of whether or not he’s good enough for you.