I feel like I’m dating my online dating website. Sometimes I feel disliked, I feel like, I feel disliked, and…I mostly feel disliked. Finding someone of quality online can be a tricky adventure for both males and females. I’m not a dating expert. I’m just a regular guy who has been online dating for about a year. Here is what I’ve learned so far.
There are a lot of creeps out there.
Females receive more messages online because just like in real life men are usually the instigators. Unfortunately, the disclaimers on women’s profiles, as well as my first dates’ accounts of creepy men creeping online leaves me to conclude that a number of bad apples are giving the good men of Los Angeles a bad reputation. So when contacting a woman online, it’s important to send cool, concise, confident messages.
Most success comes from the first-hand contact
First and foremost, the best way to meet anybody is through mutual friends. That’s why I love house parties. Trust is obviously the key to breaking the ice. As a man, I have an adventurous spirit and I don’t mind meeting strangers. Some women have the same sentiment, but no matter what, if you have someone who can vouch for you, then your chances shoot up exponentially.
Woman’s friends can also vouch for you while you’re out on the town. But, when online dating, this is not an option. So, the key is how good are you at selling yourself, so just be yourself. (When I say “be yourself,” I mean be James Bond. You must be confident, charming, courteous, and fun.)
Post a picture that looks like you.
I met a woman online and we went out for coffee in the evening. Her first comment was, “You look like your pictures online, that’s good.” I’d already scored points before opening my mouth.
We had quality conversations for about an hour. When we were leaving, she asked me if I wanted to hang out again. She was beautiful, and intelligent, and successful, so naturally, I said “yes.”
show up fresh and ready.
When I followed up with my coffee date, she never replied. That was a tough rejection because I was into her from the start. But looking back, I wasn’t totally myself as I had just worked a long day. So now, when showing up for a date, I make sure to be fresh of mind, and appearance. Personally, I think a sharp pair of dress shoes can go a long way. Women notice everything!
Never complain to your date.
Complaining is a sign of weakness. If you are discussing any problems you are having, which we all do, make sure to present the solution. It’s okay and encouraged to talk about what’s on your mind, but, show that you are in control of your life.
No meals before sex.
I don’t recommend going out for a meal with a stranger. Do you really want to add stress (to both your lives) about what you will eat that will be simple to ingest, simple to chew, and simple to digest? (I eat something light before meeting someone new because if we end up hooking up, I don’t want my date to hear my stomach gurgle.)
First dates require a drink of sorts. Always present both options of coffee and alcohol. Only eat meals together after you are having sex. By then, the ice is broken and then you both can relax. Be a boss and cook her a meal if you have the talent.
Lastly, it’s not easy gaining the trust of someone. Demeanor is a big deal. Smiling and eye contact: Huge! Eye contact is a direct link to confidence and women really like a confident, happy man.
About the Author: Brendan McDonald is a graduate of Occidental College. He’s a thirty-something baseball fanatic living in LA who is smart, funny, confident, and extra hot because he dares to date.